Apparently my coffee was a little too strong this morning…or my body has just never adjusted to the fact that I force it to get along with caffeine on a daily basis.  Basically, uh, my body was seizuring all morning. So not ideal.

Oh um, I just happened to take these photos of my nephew over the weekend.  Please feel free to die along with me.

Basically, he is probably the cutest thing my eyes have ever seen.

Also over the weekend…I competed in a weight lifting meet.

..I use the term “compete” very loosely.  When it came to me, there was no competition.  I was fully prepared going in that I would fall into the category of dead last.  Basically I’m saying that I think I may have temporarily lost my mind when I signed up.

But in all honesty it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed doing it.

Also over the weekend…I judged part of a weight lifting meet.  Basically…I probably shouldn’t have.

Ok so now that I’ve enthralled you all with my exciting and eventful life that more often than not involves sweat pants and a couch, let’s move on to the more important thing…the thing that makes me just sound..so attractive.

For the past…I don’t know how many months, my body has decided to deal with stress by clenching my jaw as hard as I can in my sleep.  And so! In the past….I don’t know how many months, I’ve bit my way through four mouth guards and I wake up in the morning feeling like I’ve been punched in the jaw.  This is my mouth guard face…

Basically what I’m getting at is, don’t you wish you were as glamorous as me?

Also, wasn’t that like…THE most important piece of information you’ve ever read about me?  You’re welcome.

Love,

Seizure hands, mouth guard face.

Ok, so I maybe, might…possibly have left my finger prints at the top of a rope earlier this week.
…Then it dawned on me, I know how to efficiently climb a rope. I don’t, however, know how to efficiently descend a rope. I know, right? Who woulda thought?

It’s raining…right now. It’s raining right now! And I’ve been waiting for this to happen since two minutes after the last storm happened…in December. Almost two months. I know, I know, I’m an extremely patient person. No need to give me an award for it, really.

Silver introduced me to Trivia Crack…and I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s called that for a reason. I’m addicted, and I’m not even good at it. Insert cry laughing emoji…here. Thanks.

The nephew spit up all over me tonight. He also smiled at me so we’re still friends. It’s cool.

I put almost all my laundry away…like 90 percent of it and then I stopped because I’m a quitter.

Love,
The girl who has the majorest of major life events.

P.S. This is my hundredth blog post. Holla.

…Honestly I’m just gonna be real for a second…ok? So don’t freak out.

In case you haven’t heard, the Seattle Seahawks didn’t win the Super Bowl.

A moment of silence please.

Thanks.

They played a pretty awesome game and in spite of the fact that they made a bad call, got in a class-less fight, and lost to a cheating team…I’ll keep them.

Next on my agenda, allow me to lament, complain, cry, and whine to you about how horrible my life is.

Not really…

But almost, just sit tight.

For those of you who don’t know…which is probably a ton of you, I’ve been taking anti depressants since the end of August.

From March 2014 on, I was having bad chest pain and tightness. Multiple tests showed nothing and after countless people suggesting it was anxiety due to my OCD, I went to see a psychiatrist.

She prescribed me a medication. It wrecked my body within hours of having it in my system and after a few days I told her I couldn’t take that one anymore.

She prescribed me another one. I had no side effects…I also had no positive effects and the highest mg dose was 20. It wouldn’t work so we stopped that one.

She prescribed me a third, also no side effects and I’ve been slowly…like slower than a turtle…or a sloth, or a slug, or anything that moves slower than those things, seeing positive effects. I started with 25, went to 50, then 75 mg, then 100. All while still feeling pretty good.

I was upped to 150 last week and all hell has broken loose.
“Could experience severe insomnia”
…yeah.

Let me put it to you this way.
Remember when I took Becc down to LA and got so tired that sores erupted on the inside of my cheeks and I spit water all over the inside of my new car…and I literally mean all over…? Well, that was me exhausted.

When I’m exhausted I lose my mind a little and then laugh a lot and drool and my eyes leak.

This, is hell. I haven’t slept all week. Tossing and turning and rolling over and wishing that the sun would just come up is the nightly routine.

I’ve passed spitting water on my steering wheel and laughing so hard while in the Jack in the Box drive through at 1:30 in the morning that I almost get yelled at…that, is nothing compared to this crap.
I’ve passed zombie.
I’ve passed drooling.
My eyes are no longer watering.
I no longer find anything amusing.
And I think I’m straight up just turning into whatever the new Jurassic park movie has in it.

The main problem though, is that I’ve spent months working my way up on this medication and I’m finally starting to see results and just when it starts working I hit a wall. I don’t want to have to endure backing off and switching to yet another one.

I also don’t want to go to bed.
But I really, really, really, want to sleep.

Anyway, I’m done complaining now and I’m also sorry for doing it in the first place. But, you know…it’s my blog so, I win.

Love,
The T-Rex thing from Jurassic Park.

P.S. How genius is my title?? HOW GENIUS?!
K bye.

…That I don’t really want the answer to

Why is it, that I’m in bed at 8:30 PM and yet won’t fall asleep until 1:00 AM?

Am I the only one who tries to make coffee…on multiple occasions, without putting the water in the coffee maker?

Why doesn’t it snow in Salinas?

…Why can’t we have Juno in Salinas?

It’s completely normal to press snooze five million times before getting out of bed, right?

I’m not the only one who looks like I’ve broken my nose when I’m tired…am I?

It it ok that I still have toe nail polish on my toes from November 16^th? Yeah? Ok, great…thanks for clearing that one up for me.  It looks…great by the way. There’s exactly one speck of pink on each toe. Love it.

…Does the question above insinuate that I’m lazy?

…Don’t you wish that you were as glamorous as me?

Can we all just pretend that I don’t have a mental break down every time I feel like I’m going to die while working out?

…Can we also pretend that it’s not every second of every work out that I feel like I’m going to die? Oh good, thanks.

Is it normal to just feel so, so lost when I finish a book? And I can’t even mentally prepare myself to find another one to read because I feel like it’s not gonna be as good as the last one?

Do you think other drivers on the road think I’m crazy cause I smile like an idiot the entire drive to work because the Bobby Bones show is just the best?

Do you talk to your cat like it’s a human too…? Cause Major gets me.

Love,

The Inquirer

Coming up on this episode of Candace is a Basket Case and a Half: Foxcatcher was crazy. Foam rollers save lives and butts. And perfect pony tails happen before sleeping. So um, The Seahawks are going to the Superbowl…again. Excuse me while I go throw confetti in the air. I would like nothing more than for my team to absolutely obliterate the Patriots. That’s all.   And speaking of sports, Colin and I went on a breakfast/movie/lunch date over the weekend and we saw Foxcatcher. It was definitely not my favorite…but it was still pretty good, and CRAZY. The fact that it’s a true story just makes it completely bizarre and so much better. Check it out. Steve Carell was super good.

Speaking of running…Oh, we weren’t. Silver and I have been running two miles almost every day before working out. My shins cannot hang. Neither can my emotions. I cry the whole two miles and wish that I was home eating Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream instead. And speaking of working out…Somehow I’ve hurt my right butt cheek. Yes…I just typed butt cheek, get over it. It’s been throbbing…and the muscle has been so, so, tight. So in a manner of desperation I purchased this little dream: That, my friends, is a tank of a foam roller. And it is saving my life one roll at a time. Because asking your mom to massage your calves when they’re sore is a totally different thing than asking your mom to massage your right butt cheek when it’s sore. The foam roller wins. Also, the brother thinks the foam roller is a pillow. Speaking of pillows…has anyone else had that horribly frustrating experience where you mindlessly throw your hair up to wash your face before going to sleep and it comes out absolutely perfect? Like the most perfect pony tail that you could ever imagine and then you just sit there staring at it and leaking tears because you’re about to go to bed and why couldn’t that happen to you on…oh I don’t know, a day where it matters?? Thank you for your support on this very important matter. Love, The runner who dreams of ice cream.

Oh my goodness.  The Sea Hawks and the Packers and the Panthers are all in the NFL Playoffs and I’m not even sure what to do with myself.  I’m also not sure how to handle a cold that won’t go away and I can’t take cold medicine for.  I’m also not sure how YOU’RE going to handle all of these Disneyland pictures.  There’s 500.

I lied.  There’s 32.

We started with California Adventure annnnd I loved it.  The decorations everywhere were so cute, the Ferris wheel at night is stunning, and tower of terror made my cheeks tingle.

Please note, it was also one degree the entire time we were there.  I’m not sure how any of us survived.

Cars Land was easily my favorite part.

I mean, come on.

The nephew and the Brother In Law

The Mickey Mouse beanie killed me.

I’m not sure why, but I absolutely love this picture.  The sibs just strollin.

My beautiful Momma.

Me, straight up nerding.

The sister being the sister.

Forever obsessed with Bokeh.

Annnnd the end.

I lied.  There’s still like 300 more.

So day two was obviously Disneyland and I’ve never felt like I was going to die from lack of caffeine more than when we were walking to the park in the morning.

That…is why I look half dead in this photo. Also the jacket that I’m wearing might as well just be my soul mate.

Literally, decorations everywhere.  Also probably the most insane crowd experience I’ve ever had.

I was slightly obsessed with their wreaths.  Don’t worry, I felt weird about it too.

I was also determined to get a photograph of the tea cup ride.

You guys, is that not the prettiest castle you’ve ever seen?

Probably the worst photo of my family in the history of…ever, but they’re my people, so…I had to.

Love,

The survivors of Disneyland the week after Christmas.

Breaking News: Blake Lively had a baby.

Breaking News: It’s 2015.

Breaking News: Today was the first Monday of 2015.

Breaking News: I had chai instead of coffee. I’m ok with that decision….because it was a delicion….

…

…

Breaking News: I rang in the new year with a cold that has yet to go away. I’m only ok with it leaving though if it takes my voice with it. I’d rather be hoarse, husky, and scratchy voiced, always and forever. Amen.

Breaking News: Today was the first day of the year…and the first day in eleven days that I worked out. My body is still processing this. I’ll get back to you on whether or not it stays in shock and continues to refrain from moving tomorrow morning as well.

Breaking News: I dropped a five pound weight on my shin.

Breaking News: It was a wonderful feeling.

Breaking News: I washed my bed sheets because I was feeling icky from the cold, and putting them back on my bed this evening might have been harder than the previously mentioned work out.

Breaking News: A slew of Disneyland pictures from my family’s trip is coming your way…pronto. Or in maybe ten days. Whenever I have time, really, so be patient.

Breaking News: I recently, like two hours ago, ate Skinny Girl lime flavored popcorn.

Breaking News: There might be a repeat of that event in my future.

Breaking News: I’m going to bed now…And you better believe that I’m going to use a pillow case with Taylor Lautner’s face on it. Thanks Becc.

Love,

The world’s worst news anchor

If you’ve ever read my blog, you may know by now that mornings are not my love language.

The Morning and I don’t get along too well for many reasons, the main two being that I sleep through my alarm way too often, and spilling coffee/coffee grounds/anything coffee related is like, ma thing.

Both things mentioned above hurt my feelings, and both things tend to make me run late.

So naturally, today instead of waking up at 7:45 when my alarm went off, I opened my eyes at 8:50.

Confetti!

After rushing to get ready, I decided that going through the Starbucks drive-thru would be way faster than making breakfast and my coffee.

Also, a multigrain bagel toasted with cream cheese sounded like heaven, and hi. Coffee.

But thennn, after dwelling on that for a little, I guilted myself into just making the stupid coffee and breakfast at home because it’s free at home and…not free at Starbucks.

Worst. Decision.

As soon as the coffee maker started dripping into the pot, I opened the cupboard to grab a travel mug and…Nothing. All travel mugs gone. Which is super impressive considering the fact that we have exactly five million travel mugs in our home.

On a normal morning, this wouldn’t be the end of my world, but today I was, hello, late…and the only thing my little brain could think was please leave me alone, I need to get coffee.

…No one was in the kitchen but me. But don’t worry, I’m usually sane most of the time.

After a few minutes I decided that I only had two options: Sit down and cry, or use one of those thick plastic water cups with the built in straw.

So…I sat down and cried.

Ok just kidding. Maybe.

Long story short…Hah. (This hasn’t been short at all.)

The cup worked great.

Then, TONIGHT! I decided that if I didn’t decorate my little tree, it for sure wasn’t gonna happen at all. After dinner I marched up to my room confident that I would get it done AND put all my laundry away while I was at it.

Question.

Am I the only one who sees a large box of plastic glitter ornaments, and decides the best and most effective way of getting them hung on the tree is to dump them all on the floor first?

No? It’s not just me?  Oh good, I almost felt stupid for a second.

After the waterfall of endless glitter covered my floor, I came to the discovery that Walmart doesn’t include those little strings to actually hang the ornaments on the tree.

Confetti!

I tried to make the best of the situation and at least put some ribbon on it until I could run out and get ornament hooks.

Then Siren and Major tried to help by taking the ribbon back off the tree and I thought never again…or at least never again until next year.

Long story short…Don’t buy plastic glitter ornaments from Walmart because:

1. Glitter, Everywhere.
2. No strings.
3. The cats will never be helpful
4. 3 doesn’t really apply to Walmart.

So, in closing, today I learned to just go to Starbucks when I’m running late and to continue to procrastinate the tree decorating process.

Love,

Is it Monday or Wednesday?

1. Hi. It’s officially the Holiday Season and I could not be happier.

I’m about to get my bake on…like every day. Ok maybe every other day. Or…You know what? We’ll shoot for once. One solid day of baking sounds doable.

15.  I did 100 lunges today…and then my legs decided that I did 100 lunges too many. Now we aren’t speaking and they’re being all difficult and refusing to go up and down the stairs without a fight.

I also discovered that I suck today because…I was supposed to do 150 lunges and I’m so slow and struggled so much that I couldn’t even finish. So, please leave me alone to cry about this and feel sorry for myself. Thank you.

C.  It’s officially the Holiday Season and I could not be happier.

IV.  Costco’s Dark Chocolate Nut Bark is phenomenal. Although, I kind of doubt that the name of the stuff is actually “Dark Chocolate Nut Bark,” but let’s go with it anyway alright?

26.  I have a four foot tall tree in my bedroom and a box of ornaments sitting next to it.  The box of ornaments may or may not continue to sit next to the tree for ohh, I don’t know…30 days or so.

Chill out, I procrastinate sometimes.

0.  It’s officially the Holiday Season and I could not be happier.

597.  It’s been over a whole week since I got done cruising. Even though really, I was on a much different kind of cruise for at least three days following the actual cruise…and by that I mean, I wasn’t on a cruise at all but my mind sure seemed to think so.

8.  It’s been ONLY a few days over a week since I got done cruising and my body has already reverted back to pale.

No wait, porcelain.

No…wait, cream.

No actually…vampire.

Mm, maybe actually just snow.

10,004. It’s officially the Holiday Season and I could not be happier.

Love,

The inconsistent blogger, baker, and tree decorator.

Quick question. Is it also exactly one degree in your house right now?
Oh good. So glad to hear I’m not the only person that’s frozen.
Thank you for the support.

On Saturday while I was lying on the floor being lazy my mom asked me if I was going to do the November gratitude challenge.
I responded with “Sure.” While inwardly thinking yeah there’s no way that’s gonna happen. Not because I don’t have enough to be grateful for, but because I literally cannot do anything consistently when it comes to the internet.

Hi. Ask when the last time I checked my email was. Just kidding. Please don’t ask me that.

Also, I’m going on a cruise in 12 days! I’m so. Excited. And also maybe a little bit sad because that means that at some point between now and then, I have to pack. And ok, maybe I’ve already started the long, slow and painful process by gathering things in a central location that I will then stare at angrily for 11 days until I finally toss it into a suitcase.

So nope. There’s no way that I will be consistent with this, but yep. I’ll do it. Kapeesh? So here’s my first three things that I’m thankful for.

1. Teachers:
Everyone currently in school is probably thinking that I’ve lost my mind. But it’s true. I’m so grateful for all the teachers that I’ve had in my life. My mom home schooled my sisters and I until high school, and my brother until middle school. And…what? I don’t know how she lived through it, but I am so glad to have had that experience. She was great at it and I couldn’t have asked for a better teacher than her.

My high school teachers were also invaluable, investing countless hours into each one of their students. My English teacher used to make notes on my essays that would say “You cannot write like you talk.” And yeah, maybe while writing an essay that’s true but uh, I found a way around that and it’s called a blog. In all seriousness though, she was without doubt one of the best teachers that I’ve ever had.

Also, Five years of college…ten freakin semesters, and I’m lucky enough to say that I only had two teachers that I wasn’t super fond of. Maybe that’s not a rare thing, but I feel super lucky to be able to say that.

I would not be the person that I am today without the amazing teachers that have come in and out of my life to share their knowledge and grow young adults into successful people.

2. My parents:
Hello. Have you met them?
Maybe I’m biased, but I think they are the best on earth. They are my wooden poles.

Weird?

Hear me out. You know those wooden stakes that hold baby trees up when their first planted? The ones that are tied to the tree with thick rubber bands on each side and left there for years and years to keep it steady?
Yeah, those are my parents. I would not have survived without them constantly holding me up and encouraging me. I can’t even describe how grateful I am to them for their unconditional and constant outpouring of love.
And to top that off, they’ve somehow managed to hold up four trees. Those are some crazy strong wooden poles if I do say so myself.

I mean, I guess it helps a little that my siblings and I never….ever fought. And that my parents have never had to force us to sit down and hash out our issues with each other. And that my sisters and I have never called each other the the B word…And we never talked back to, or argued with them…not even once.
It also probably helps that we’ve never had those parent heart attack inducing kid accidents like: falling off a rocking horse and busting your lip open, getting run over by a bike, splitting your head open while twirling, slicing your nose on an ash tray, and falling face first into a sidewalk, chipping your front tooth and biting through your lip.
No….we were perfect, accident free, angels…
So their job was super easy.

Numero three!
The sibs:
Amanda, Becca, Matt, James, and fine…Gus, Baby, Siren and Major can be on the team too.
Each one of the people mentioned above…minus the cats, can absolutely drive me nuts and make me want to strangle them, but luckily the love I have for them has always won out in the end.
Growing up with three siblings hasn’t been easy. I feel like it’s similar to throwing a Lion, bear, tiger, and gorilla all into the same little room and saying “Ok, find a way to live together peacefully.”

We each have huge personalities.
Amanda is a strong leader.
Rebecca is a comedian and a dreamer.
Matthew is strong willed and un-bending.
And I have ennui 95% of the time.

Growing up together has been one of the toughest, and funnest, and best things. I wouldn’t trade a single one of these people for anything in the world.

And James, (My brother in law) is great to have around too, especially now that we live in the same city. He is an awesome addition to our family and without him I wouldn’t have a NEPHEW…so he can stay.

Alright. There’s three things.
Stay tuned for more…probably for a long time.

Love,
Ennui girl.