…Honestly I’m just gonna be real for a second…ok? So don’t freak out.

In case you haven’t heard, the Seattle Seahawks didn’t win the Super Bowl.

A moment of silence please.

Thanks.

They played a pretty awesome game and in spite of the fact that they made a bad call, got in a class-less fight, and lost to a cheating team…I’ll keep them.

Next on my agenda, allow me to lament, complain, cry, and whine to you about how horrible my life is.

Not really…

But almost, just sit tight.

For those of you who don’t know…which is probably a ton of you, I’ve been taking anti depressants since the end of August.

From March 2014 on, I was having bad chest pain and tightness. Multiple tests showed nothing and after countless people suggesting it was anxiety due to my OCD, I went to see a psychiatrist.

She prescribed me a medication. It wrecked my body within hours of having it in my system and after a few days I told her I couldn’t take that one anymore.

She prescribed me another one. I had no side effects…I also had no positive effects and the highest mg dose was 20. It wouldn’t work so we stopped that one.

She prescribed me a third, also no side effects and I’ve been slowly…like slower than a turtle…or a sloth, or a slug, or anything that moves slower than those things, seeing positive effects. I started with 25, went to 50, then 75 mg, then 100. All while still feeling pretty good.

I was upped to 150 last week and all hell has broken loose.
“Could experience severe insomnia”
…yeah.

Let me put it to you this way.
Remember when I took Becc down to LA and got so tired that sores erupted on the inside of my cheeks and I spit water all over the inside of my new car…and I literally mean all over…? Well, that was me exhausted.

When I’m exhausted I lose my mind a little and then laugh a lot and drool and my eyes leak.

This, is hell. I haven’t slept all week. Tossing and turning and rolling over and wishing that the sun would just come up is the nightly routine.

I’ve passed spitting water on my steering wheel and laughing so hard while in the Jack in the Box drive through at 1:30 in the morning that I almost get yelled at…that, is nothing compared to this crap.
I’ve passed zombie.
I’ve passed drooling.
My eyes are no longer watering.
I no longer find anything amusing.
And I think I’m straight up just turning into whatever the new Jurassic park movie has in it.

The main problem though, is that I’ve spent months working my way up on this medication and I’m finally starting to see results and just when it starts working I hit a wall. I don’t want to have to endure backing off and switching to yet another one.

I also don’t want to go to bed.
But I really, really, really, want to sleep.

Anyway, I’m done complaining now and I’m also sorry for doing it in the first place. But, you know…it’s my blog so, I win.

Love,
The T-Rex thing from Jurassic Park.

P.S. How genius is my title?? HOW GENIUS?!
K bye.