They’re like, sewww major.

Number 3. I discovered recently that my true calling in life is line dancing. I mean don’t get me wrong, I was just as surprised as you probably are…but for real y’all, I’m a natural and there’s no stopping it. Big things coming from this…forrr sure.

Fifty-seven. I finally got around to watching the Fittest On Earth. I also might be the kind of weirdo who gets chills from stuff like that. 

Number 6! On Thursday night I had horrible awful terrible dreams that kept the already sleepless girl over here (um, hi. Me) awake even more than usual. 

6.1 On Friday I was extremely tired and extremely grumpy. And yet, I was in bed at nine thirty trying to hold my eyes open for as long as I could just to make myself a little…more…tired than I already was. Because if I really really exhaust myself, maybe I’ll sleep better, right?..Yes, that is how my brain actually works.

6.2. Today, I napped. For three hours. And it was probably the highlight of the year. Just kidding let’s be honest, line dancing will always be the highlight of everything. 

#5,768. My nephew and I like to yell the word avocado back and forth to each other. And by that I mean, I yell avocado and he yells acmmavo with the most enthusiasm an almost two year old can have while yelling that word and I think it’s probably cuter than the cutest thing. 

Ninety. I recently found out what running in ankle braces feels like. Dumb and impossible. It feels..dumb and impossible. 

Number 15. I’m turning a window into a table. So uh, I guess you could say I’m pretty crafty or whatever. 

Love, 

The girl with the most minor major events. 

Oh. My. Goodness…

I was probably just THE most productive I’ve been in at least ten years. That’s a lie. But I did do like..3 things before falling into bed. Orr falling onto my floor. Either one currently works.

So um…here’s a quiz on what’s most likely to happen now. 

1. I prepared my coffee ahead of time. I filled the filter, put the water in, and set the delay so that it will start brewing right when I need to wake up. That way!…all I have to do is pour it..and not spill it, before I leave for work. 

This will result in which of the following:

A) I’ll get up right when my alarm goes off, leave the house, and get to work on time/early

B) knowing that I saved myself five extra minutes, I’ll ignore my alarm clock for as long as possible and still end up rushing out the door and running late

2. I put away my laundry AND started another load. 

Please choose the answer that is true:

A) Since my room is now so clean, I’ll be motivated to keep it like that and immediately put the other load of laundry away after it comes out of the dryer

B) A pile of clothes is going to sit on my bed for at least 24-72 hours while I dig through it every day trying to find my sports bras and becoming convinced that I really actually just have none

C) I hate doing laundry

D) Both B and C 

3. I dried my hair after getting out of the shower tonight. 

Select the event that will occur next:

A) I’ll get up right when my alarm goes off, not have to do anything to it, leave the house, and get to work on time/early

B) knowing that I saved myself another five extra minutes, I’ll ignore my alarm clock for as long as possible and still end up rushing out the door and running late

C) None of the above. Because I never do anything to it on weekdays anyway 

Love,

The productivest of productives…Also maybe the maker of words…cause I’m 90% sure both of those aren’t. 

16 years ago, I lived in a neighborhood full of boys. 16 years ago, they were all skate boarding. 16 years ago, I wanted to learn how to skate board. 16 years ago, while riding a skateboard, I hit a curb, bit through my lip, and chipped my teeth. 

9 years ago, I wanted to know how to skim board. 9 years ago, I got one. 9 years ago, I tried, and I fell….again and again and again until my knees were ripped open and bleeding from the sand. 

5 years ago, someone decided that I probably couldn’t do a gainer off a diving board into a pool. 5 years ago, I didn’t like that. And 5 years ago, I attempted to do a gainer until the blood vessels on my back broke from slapping the water too many times. 

4 years ago, I went to Slide Rock in Sedona, Arizona. 4 years ago, I watched people jump off a very high ledge into water. 4 years ago, someone suggested I try it. 4 years ago, I severely injured my tail bone.

1.5 years ago, I started crossfit. 1.5 years ago, I was assaulted by the fact that I could not do….anything that crossfitters do. 1.5 years ago I decided that was going to have to change.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always tried to “keep up.” I grew up fighting and playing with three siblings. I was raised in a neighborhood where street hockey and dirt clod wars were a regular occurrence. I went through high school with boys in my class that constantly had me doing stupid things and competing with them. And when I was challenged, or felt doubted, or realized I couldn’t do something, I hated it.

I’ve never liked the idea of giving up on something. Whether that’s a mental challenge, a person, or a physical activity..and I still can’t figure out if it’s a strength or a weakness. 

On one hand, it regularly yet clearly not always, results in accomplishment. Sometimes slow and painful, or sometimes fast and rewarding. 

On the other, it also regularly results in physical pain, disappointment, and becoming critical of myself. 

This week my body and mind have been beyond tired. My knuckles are bruised and swollen, my legs have dark red whip marks and welts, and it hurts to touch my shins.

But someday soon..Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not until my knuckles are literally bleeding…double-unders are gonna be easy.

And then it will be on to the next challenge. 

Love, 

The over-user of the comma 

Yes. The rumor that you’ve all been desperately trying to figure out is true..

I do sleep on my floor now.

I would like to just state that we can go ahead and use the term “sleep” like the loosest of loosely here though cause, um…

I don’t.

That’s a lie. I do.

But it usually involves..not sleeping, rolling over, sitting up, turning around, thinking too much, and in the morning..

Waking up…

looking….

like…..

this! 

Tada!! 

Are you terrified? Don’t worry, I was too. 

Let’s break it down together, shall we?

Red circle: Puffy black eye with weird spot in the middle. 

Why…? How…? I don’t know.  Someone tell me.

Purple oval: Out of control worm eyebrow. 

K fine, this might usually be the case.

Green circle: Scar. More prominent than most of the time. Because…

Blue Oval: Swollen jaw. 

Annnnd other than the outrageously messy hair which is actually completely normal, I think that about covers it. 

Aren’t you glad we had this discussion? Aren’t you happy that you know what I look like in the morning? Good. 

Love, 

I’m tired. 

Ohh hi. Two weeks ago, you were talking to me about who might end up being in your wedding party, and I just sat there kind of smiling.  Because you more than anyone I know deserves that…And someday soon, you’re gonna meet a guy who just happens to love Jesus and have thick legs, and he’s gonna be head over heels for you…And I can’t wait for it. I can’t wait for you to have an amazing husband that spoils you and treats you right along with beautiful little babies that I get to spoil.

Ever since that conversation though, I’ve been thinkin…and here’s what’s been in my head.

13 months ago exactly we said bye to each other. You were leaving for Texas and I mean, really…it was no big deal. Two years in Colorado, Six years in Arizona…The truth is, I never thought we needed a face to face friendship.  A long distance friendship never seemed to affect us negatively, so what could possibly happen in another 7 months, right?

…after the end of a literal week from hell, a week of doubt and questions, a week of hurting others and barely holding it together, I called you.  I’m not even sure what we said to each other exactly, but like it is with most best friends…even over the phone it’s easy to tell when things are being left unsaid.  And in that short conversation I knew you were happy…relieved, and that unlike most people involved in the situation, you knew it was right just like I did. In that moment, whether you knew it or not you gave me the little extra courage I needed to keep going and stick with my choice.

This year since last June hasn’t been easy…but without you here, I know for a fact things wouldn’t be as good as they have been.  So…thank you.

Thank you for being the kind of friend who tells me that if I ever had to get in a fight with someone, you think I’d win.

Thank you for celebrating the fact that I got stress blisters on my fingers to match yours.

Thank you for literally taking my face in your hands and wiping my tears away on the nights that I can’t seem to hold it together.

And thank you for being the kind of friend who also tells me to get it together and not to be sad because “We aren’t doing that tonight.”

Thank you for always being brutally honest. When it’s easy to hear and when it’s the last thing I want to hear.

Thank you for being the kind of friend who tells me I should give the shirt that I’m wearing to Savers…Or better yet just throw it away cause Savers probably wouldn’t take it.

Thank you for loving my nephew like he’s yours too.

Thank you for being the kind of friend who’s willing to fail at partner yoga with me and Becca for hours.

Thank you for always being patient and gracious, when I definitely don’t always deserve it.

Thank you for helping me realize that it’s ok to actually have fun and not worry all the time.

Thank you for being the kind of friend that loves to just be at my house and hang with my family.

And thank you for believing in me on the days when I’m not capable of believing in myself.

You’ve been so strong for me in so many ways over the past twelve months and I can only hope that someday I’ll be as strong for you if you’re ever in a situation where you need it.

I love you Silver!

Love,

The emotional best friend.

Yes…it’s true.

 I am the kind of girl who makes her mom late to church on Mother’s Day because I just HAD to have Starbucks or I would die.

I’m also the kind of girl who gets to church after it’s already started, hugs the girl in front of me with the full…Venti…coffee in my hand, and drops it. All over her seat and all over her GRANDMA! No big deal…just causing a huge scene. And also. Dying.

I’m the kid of girl who no matter how many alarms I set…will sleep through them on Monday and wake up…not wanting to throw confetti in the air.

Totally the kind of girl who finds out my car is leaking something…again…and immediately yells “I’m selling it!” Instead of..you know, being rational about it or whatever.

The kind of girl who has to force myself to be optimistic every day. And definitely didn’t even try to be today.

I’m the kind of girl who has an involuntary melt down at a squat rack and then back squats with blurry vision from trying to hold back tears. 

I’m definitely the kind of girl who can make fun of myself MOST of the time..joke around and say things like “Hashtag, single for life.”And “Not gonna to be able to live on my own until I’m 35,” with a smile on my face.

But I’m also the kind of girl who deep down, fears those things coming true. 

And when I’ve had an especially stupid day, I’m the kind of girl who dances in the shower while blasting this: 

Because sometimes being a walking disaster for the past 72 hours just needs to be danced out. 😉 

Love,

The shower dancer

Why..the hell?

How the hell did two of those butterfly shirts exist?

What the hell is on our feet?

Or better yet, what the HELL is on our heads?

Why the hell did we think this was a good idea?

What the hell is up with the wallpaper?

Why the, why the HELL is my hair parted down the middle?

Why the hell did my parents let us leave the house like that?

How the hell did we think it was so cool to match?..

…thank goodness that doesn’t happen anymore.

Love,

Hell

 

Sometimes…when I write on here, I like to blog about silly meaningless things. But sometimes there’s also nights like tonight..

Sometimes I wake up so tired that I have to nap in my car at 7:55 in the morning before going inside to work.

Sometimes I feel lonely.

Sometimes I’m not very sure about things, especially when it comes to what my future might look like.

Sometimes I’m grumpy and I don’t like myself very much.

Sometimes guilt over the fact that I’ve hurt people…crushed someone..can reduce me to the smallest version of myself.

Sometimes no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to get things to work out. 

Sometimes…when I’m feeling all this..I pray things at night like “Hi God, what the actual hell is going on?”

And sometimes after that, I walk into a random store in a random town and see this and think…Ok.

  
Because maybe….

Maybe I don’t have to have things figured out right now. 

Maybe I am where I am, and I’m feeling what I’m feeling for a reason. 

Maybe it’s ok that my truck currently looks like I live in it and I only do my laundry once a week.

Maybe I feel lonely because one day I’m gonna meet someone who needs to know they aren’t the only person that’s ever felt that way.

Maybe there’s no point in over thinking, analyzing and feeling bad about things that have already happened. 

Maybe it’s ok to actually live in the moment and have fun rather than stress about things I can’t control. 

And maybe…just maybe, Everything really is going to be ok…I think it will.

 Just maybe not tonight though, and that’s ok. 🙂 

Love, 

The girl who sometimes maybe uses the words “sometimes” and “maybe” way too much. 

Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to read

…my blog.

Cause I mean, it’s full of important things that everyone in the entire world just, really reeeeally needs to know.

Like for example!…how my current life situation directly relates to all of the following events below. Please prepare accordingly…I’m dramatic. And might be a basket case. And might be losing my mind a little. Sooo uh, here we go!

Currently my life is like trying to fill a water bottle using the water thingy on the outside of the fridge…but not having the water bottle centered…and then getting to experience water POUR all over the kitchen floor. Expletives.

Currently my life is like rushing to put leftovers in a container to take for lunch so I don’t end up spending money on food…and dropping the container…made of glass….on the kitchen floor. Can we just go ahead and insert five million sarcastic smiley faces right here? Is that ok? Cool, thanks!

Currently my life is like being awake from the hours of 2 to 5 AM…every night. Hi. This might make me grumpy…it also might make me crazy. It also might make me leak tears at random times during the day.

Currently my life is like dropping a razor on my face while shaving my legs in the shower. Please, before you get all judgy and ask “How is that even possible?” let me just tell you that shaving legs in the shower is kind of like doing advanced yoga…and I don’t even know how to do beginner’s yoga, so…chill.

…Currently my life is like dropping my cell phone on my face while laying in bed and texting.  Please, please tell me this happens to you too.

…Currently my life is ALSO like dropping..ok like throwing my friend/coach’s iPad across the gym floor and experiencing a heart attack because of it.  Please, please tell me this happens to you too….or maybe I just have issues.  Yeah, K..that’s probably it.

Currently my life is like running into my desk 8.9567 billion times since I’ve worked in that office. The desk has never moved…it probably never will. I just lack the capacity to realize it’s always there. But thigh bruises are like, in right now…right?

Currently my life is like doing 300 double unders on Tuesday, 110 today, and then realizing that my left shin bone actually just straight up shattered.

Currently my life is like test driving a used truck that “Runs great with no issues” and then finding out that something’s wrong with the transmission that makes it feel like it may or may not be jumping into hyper drive…..hyper space?…that super fast thing they do in star wars…? While pressing on the gas.

Currently my life is like trying to get my nephew to kiss me. Because he won’t.

…

……

Currently my life is like the pile of neatly folded laundry on the spare bed in my room. Just kidding actually, because it’s not folded.

Currently…being an adult has been hard and I’m realizing I’m kinda bad at it.

Love,

The most dramatic complainer in the ENTIRE world

Today sucked. Squatting 155 felt like I might as well have literally been squatting earth…

I didn’t hit my goal time for the workout. I wanted to do it in 12 minutes, and instead it took me 16….are you kidding me? Way, way off. 

And as I lay on the floor of my gym all pissed off, unable to move my limbs, and feeling like I was breathing air through a straw after I finished, I kept thinking I shouldn’t have this issue. I should be good enough to crush stuff like this by now. And then I realized something. 

There is no good enough. I mean yeah, I’m going to reach goals. I’m going to PR. I’m going to get double unders and hand stand push ups. I’m going to do a freaking muscle up…and yes, for the record I feel like I technically should be able to do all that by now and I can’t. But even when I do all that, it doesn’t mean I’m good enough…it only means I’m ready to make bigger goals. The progress never stops, no matter how crappy a day feels, or how great a day feels for that matter…and that..is why I’ll never quit. 

And um. The end. 
Love, 

The girl who’s borderline in love with crossfit.