I know I’m tiny. I’ve seen the “If the earth were a golf ball video.” But sometimes what I know and what I feel conflict.

Sometimes my worries and my problems feel so big that I forget no one could see them from an airplane.

And sometimes when I am reminded of how tiny I am, I forget that God could see my worries and my problems from an airplane…you know, if he were to ever be a passenger or whatever.

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I took this picture at 6:00am back in September with a heart wrecked and heavy with worry. With a heart pleading to Jesus to just make the moves I so desperately wanted made, but had zero control over. I took this picture shouting in silence that I knew I was tiny but I needed to be seen.

One week later, the moves I had been begging for were made. I was punched in the face with a big “I see you. I have you. So stop. Worrying. So. Much.”

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There’s this song I love by Elevation Worship:

When I felt like the burden was more than I could hold

When the whispers of worry overwhelmed my soul

You never left me alone

You were there all along

You are faithful

Why should my heart be afraid?

You are faithful

I know You’re not  gonna change

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7 months later, I still worry. But when I do now, I can look at this picture.

Jesus is faithful. He knows the worries and hears the silent shouting that we need to be seen. And maybe soon He’s even gonna punch you in the face with those facts.  At least I hope so, cause it’s kind of awesome when it happens.

Love,

The tiny worrier

I’ve lived in my current home for just over 3 years now. The backyard is bigger than the house.

It’s green in the winter and spring and it’s the epicenter for little brown circle stickers in all of earth in the summer and fall.

It has a shed filled with spiders and things that don’t belong to me.

It has two apple trees that produce tiny, strange apples, and it has a little grapevine at the very back center of the fence.

It’s quirky and sometimes messy. It houses left over remnants of projects and big wooden targets. It’s home to what might be the dustiest ping pong table sitting on top of the dustiest rug.

I love it.

What I didn’t love, was the stump.

In the middle of the yard, there used to be a big pretty tree. Then I guess the tree died and sometime before Silver and I moved in, it was cut down. Whoever did the job though, left the stump behind. So there it sat..surrounded by a sad little uneven brick wall.

For three years every day, I looked into the yard and thought gosh I wish that stump wasn’t there. I also always thought how hard and time consuming it might be to get rid of it though, so there it sat..surrounded by a sad little uneven brick wall.

On Tuesday I planted a tiny little tree by the apple trees. All bets are off on if it’s gonna survive.

I was in the backyard. I looked at the stump, looked at the shovel in my hand, and just went for it without giving it any other thought.

It turned into a group effort when Ivo, Silver and Cesar joined in and you know what? It was gone completely within two hours. Other than a pit stop to buy an axe, It wasn’t hard or time consuming.

There’s no more stump surrounded by a sad little uneven brick wall, but there is a huge circle of raw dirt. I’m sure it will turn to grass soon and then later sometime in the fall contribute to producing the world’s largest amount of little brown circle stickers, and then turn green all over again but for now, it’s raw.

If you’re still with me after the longest rambling about a backyard you could ever read…cool thanks. Here’s the point.

The whole thing got me thinking. Why did I wait three years if I didn’t like it that whole time?

I think sometimes, we do this with the stumps in our life too. We look at or reflect on things or situations every day in our lives that we don’t like or aren’t happy with and think gosh I wish that (fill in the blank) wasn’t there.

My advice? Don’t wait anymore. You’re already holding the shovel. You are in control of the things in your life that you don’t like.

Want to quit that bad habit you’re not happy with?

Start digging.

Want to make more money than you do right now?

Start digging.

Want to change that living situation?

Start digging.

Want to have a better relationship with family members?

Start digging.

Want better skin?

Buy new skin care products.

..K, I’m out of control. But you kinda get it, right?

Maybe once you start you’ll realize how much easier and faster the process is than you thought it was going to be. Or maybe once you start you’ll realize you’re gonna need more than just a shovel to get the job done. You’re gonna need an axe. So buy an axe and keep going.

And maybe….maybe when you’re done there’s going to be a huge circle of dirt…maybe getting rid of your stump is going to leave you different and even a little hurt and raw. But if you hold on and make it through, the grass is gonna grow.

Love,

The girl who takes lessons from a stump.