So I have this dream for my life…that one day, I’m gonna be the kind of adult that wakes up at 5am..every morning. Go to the gym, come home, shower, put on makeup, iron a shirt or something, make breakfast and drink my coffee while I relax on the couch and read until I need to leave for work.

But instead, I’m the kind of adult that gives myself the exact amount of time I need to get out the door in the morning…assuming that nothing goes wrong. This means rolling out of bed like a slug, grabbing the first pair of jeans I see, thirty seconds of finding a work appropriate shirt, stuffing my gym bag full of random gym clothes that hardly ever match, and heading to the bathroom to evaluate what absolutely needs to be done in order to not look half dead.

After that I have the exact amount of time I need to cook an egg, make toast, pour my coffee and walk out the door. Sometimes…regularly, I’ll even sleep for five more minutes and skip the egg.

December is my teenager cat child..She is a morning person.

I am an adult human..I am not a morning person.

December knocked over my full glass of water this morning…and I didn’t have time to cook my egg.

So, longest story short, tonight my teenager cat child gets to have her first big girl sleepover with Rigatoni in the living room. We’re all very excited.

Love,

The morning routine specialist