16 years ago, I lived in a neighborhood full of boys. 16 years ago, they were all skate boarding. 16 years ago, I wanted to learn how to skate board. 16 years ago, while riding a skateboard, I hit a curb, bit through my lip, and chipped my teeth. 

9 years ago, I wanted to know how to skim board. 9 years ago, I got one. 9 years ago, I tried, and I fell….again and again and again until my knees were ripped open and bleeding from the sand. 

5 years ago, someone decided that I probably couldn’t do a gainer off a diving board into a pool. 5 years ago, I didn’t like that. And 5 years ago, I attempted to do a gainer until the blood vessels on my back broke from slapping the water too many times. 

4 years ago, I went to Slide Rock in Sedona, Arizona. 4 years ago, I watched people jump off a very high ledge into water. 4 years ago, someone suggested I try it. 4 years ago, I severely injured my tail bone.

1.5 years ago, I started crossfit. 1.5 years ago, I was assaulted by the fact that I could not do….anything that crossfitters do. 1.5 years ago I decided that was going to have to change.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always tried to “keep up.” I grew up fighting and playing with three siblings. I was raised in a neighborhood where street hockey and dirt clod wars were a regular occurrence. I went through high school with boys in my class that constantly had me doing stupid things and competing with them. And when I was challenged, or felt doubted, or realized I couldn’t do something, I hated it.

I’ve never liked the idea of giving up on something. Whether that’s a mental challenge, a person, or a physical activity..and I still can’t figure out if it’s a strength or a weakness. 

On one hand, it regularly yet clearly not always, results in accomplishment. Sometimes slow and painful, or sometimes fast and rewarding. 

On the other, it also regularly results in physical pain, disappointment, and becoming critical of myself. 

This week my body and mind have been beyond tired. My knuckles are bruised and swollen, my legs have dark red whip marks and welts, and it hurts to touch my shins.

But someday soon..Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not until my knuckles are literally bleeding…double-unders are gonna be easy.

And then it will be on to the next challenge. 

Love, 

The over-user of the comma