Oh. My. Goodness…

I was probably just THE most productive I’ve been in at least ten years. That’s a lie. But I did do like..3 things before falling into bed. Orr falling onto my floor. Either one currently works.

So um…here’s a quiz on what’s most likely to happen now. 

1. I prepared my coffee ahead of time. I filled the filter, put the water in, and set the delay so that it will start brewing right when I need to wake up. That way!…all I have to do is pour it..and not spill it, before I leave for work. 

This will result in which of the following:

A) I’ll get up right when my alarm goes off, leave the house, and get to work on time/early

B) knowing that I saved myself five extra minutes, I’ll ignore my alarm clock for as long as possible and still end up rushing out the door and running late

2. I put away my laundry AND started another load. 

Please choose the answer that is true:

A) Since my room is now so clean, I’ll be motivated to keep it like that and immediately put the other load of laundry away after it comes out of the dryer

B) A pile of clothes is going to sit on my bed for at least 24-72 hours while I dig through it every day trying to find my sports bras and becoming convinced that I really actually just have none

C) I hate doing laundry

D) Both B and C 

3. I dried my hair after getting out of the shower tonight. 

Select the event that will occur next:

A) I’ll get up right when my alarm goes off, not have to do anything to it, leave the house, and get to work on time/early

B) knowing that I saved myself another five extra minutes, I’ll ignore my alarm clock for as long as possible and still end up rushing out the door and running late

C) None of the above. Because I never do anything to it on weekdays anyway 

Love,

The productivest of productives…Also maybe the maker of words…cause I’m 90% sure both of those aren’t. 

16 years ago, I lived in a neighborhood full of boys. 16 years ago, they were all skate boarding. 16 years ago, I wanted to learn how to skate board. 16 years ago, while riding a skateboard, I hit a curb, bit through my lip, and chipped my teeth. 

9 years ago, I wanted to know how to skim board. 9 years ago, I got one. 9 years ago, I tried, and I fell….again and again and again until my knees were ripped open and bleeding from the sand. 

5 years ago, someone decided that I probably couldn’t do a gainer off a diving board into a pool. 5 years ago, I didn’t like that. And 5 years ago, I attempted to do a gainer until the blood vessels on my back broke from slapping the water too many times. 

4 years ago, I went to Slide Rock in Sedona, Arizona. 4 years ago, I watched people jump off a very high ledge into water. 4 years ago, someone suggested I try it. 4 years ago, I severely injured my tail bone.

1.5 years ago, I started crossfit. 1.5 years ago, I was assaulted by the fact that I could not do….anything that crossfitters do. 1.5 years ago I decided that was going to have to change.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always tried to “keep up.” I grew up fighting and playing with three siblings. I was raised in a neighborhood where street hockey and dirt clod wars were a regular occurrence. I went through high school with boys in my class that constantly had me doing stupid things and competing with them. And when I was challenged, or felt doubted, or realized I couldn’t do something, I hated it.

I’ve never liked the idea of giving up on something. Whether that’s a mental challenge, a person, or a physical activity..and I still can’t figure out if it’s a strength or a weakness. 

On one hand, it regularly yet clearly not always, results in accomplishment. Sometimes slow and painful, or sometimes fast and rewarding. 

On the other, it also regularly results in physical pain, disappointment, and becoming critical of myself. 

This week my body and mind have been beyond tired. My knuckles are bruised and swollen, my legs have dark red whip marks and welts, and it hurts to touch my shins.

But someday soon..Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not until my knuckles are literally bleeding…double-unders are gonna be easy.

And then it will be on to the next challenge. 

Love, 

The over-user of the comma 

Yes. The rumor that you’ve all been desperately trying to figure out is true..

I do sleep on my floor now.

I would like to just state that we can go ahead and use the term “sleep” like the loosest of loosely here though cause, um…

I don’t.

That’s a lie. I do.

But it usually involves..not sleeping, rolling over, sitting up, turning around, thinking too much, and in the morning..

Waking up…

looking….

like…..

this! 

Tada!! 

Are you terrified? Don’t worry, I was too. 

Let’s break it down together, shall we?

Red circle: Puffy black eye with weird spot in the middle. 

Why…? How…? I don’t know.  Someone tell me.

Purple oval: Out of control worm eyebrow. 

K fine, this might usually be the case.

Green circle: Scar. More prominent than most of the time. Because…

Blue Oval: Swollen jaw. 

Annnnd other than the outrageously messy hair which is actually completely normal, I think that about covers it. 

Aren’t you glad we had this discussion? Aren’t you happy that you know what I look like in the morning? Good. 

Love, 

I’m tired. 

Ohh hi. Two weeks ago, you were talking to me about who might end up being in your wedding party, and I just sat there kind of smiling.  Because you more than anyone I know deserves that…And someday soon, you’re gonna meet a guy who just happens to love Jesus and have thick legs, and he’s gonna be head over heels for you…And I can’t wait for it. I can’t wait for you to have an amazing husband that spoils you and treats you right along with beautiful little babies that I get to spoil.

Ever since that conversation though, I’ve been thinkin…and here’s what’s been in my head.

13 months ago exactly we said bye to each other. You were leaving for Texas and I mean, really…it was no big deal. Two years in Colorado, Six years in Arizona…The truth is, I never thought we needed a face to face friendship.  A long distance friendship never seemed to affect us negatively, so what could possibly happen in another 7 months, right?

…after the end of a literal week from hell, a week of doubt and questions, a week of hurting others and barely holding it together, I called you.  I’m not even sure what we said to each other exactly, but like it is with most best friends…even over the phone it’s easy to tell when things are being left unsaid.  And in that short conversation I knew you were happy…relieved, and that unlike most people involved in the situation, you knew it was right just like I did. In that moment, whether you knew it or not you gave me the little extra courage I needed to keep going and stick with my choice.

This year since last June hasn’t been easy…but without you here, I know for a fact things wouldn’t be as good as they have been.  So…thank you.

Thank you for being the kind of friend who tells me that if I ever had to get in a fight with someone, you think I’d win.

Thank you for celebrating the fact that I got stress blisters on my fingers to match yours.

Thank you for literally taking my face in your hands and wiping my tears away on the nights that I can’t seem to hold it together.

And thank you for being the kind of friend who also tells me to get it together and not to be sad because “We aren’t doing that tonight.”

Thank you for always being brutally honest. When it’s easy to hear and when it’s the last thing I want to hear.

Thank you for being the kind of friend who tells me I should give the shirt that I’m wearing to Savers…Or better yet just throw it away cause Savers probably wouldn’t take it.

Thank you for loving my nephew like he’s yours too.

Thank you for being the kind of friend who’s willing to fail at partner yoga with me and Becca for hours.

Thank you for always being patient and gracious, when I definitely don’t always deserve it.

Thank you for helping me realize that it’s ok to actually have fun and not worry all the time.

Thank you for being the kind of friend that loves to just be at my house and hang with my family.

And thank you for believing in me on the days when I’m not capable of believing in myself.

You’ve been so strong for me in so many ways over the past twelve months and I can only hope that someday I’ll be as strong for you if you’re ever in a situation where you need it.

I love you Silver!

Love,

The emotional best friend.