Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to read

…my blog.

Cause I mean, it’s full of important things that everyone in the entire world just, really reeeeally needs to know.

Like for example!…how my current life situation directly relates to all of the following events below. Please prepare accordingly…I’m dramatic. And might be a basket case. And might be losing my mind a little. Sooo uh, here we go!

Currently my life is like trying to fill a water bottle using the water thingy on the outside of the fridge…but not having the water bottle centered…and then getting to experience water POUR all over the kitchen floor. Expletives.

Currently my life is like rushing to put leftovers in a container to take for lunch so I don’t end up spending money on food…and dropping the container…made of glass….on the kitchen floor. Can we just go ahead and insert five million sarcastic smiley faces right here? Is that ok? Cool, thanks!

Currently my life is like being awake from the hours of 2 to 5 AM…every night. Hi. This might make me grumpy…it also might make me crazy. It also might make me leak tears at random times during the day.

Currently my life is like dropping a razor on my face while shaving my legs in the shower. Please, before you get all judgy and ask “How is that even possible?” let me just tell you that shaving legs in the shower is kind of like doing advanced yoga…and I don’t even know how to do beginner’s yoga, so…chill.

…Currently my life is like dropping my cell phone on my face while laying in bed and texting.  Please, please tell me this happens to you too.

…Currently my life is ALSO like dropping..ok like throwing my friend/coach’s iPad across the gym floor and experiencing a heart attack because of it.  Please, please tell me this happens to you too….or maybe I just have issues.  Yeah, K..that’s probably it.

Currently my life is like running into my desk 8.9567 billion times since I’ve worked in that office. The desk has never moved…it probably never will. I just lack the capacity to realize it’s always there. But thigh bruises are like, in right now…right?

Currently my life is like doing 300 double unders on Tuesday, 110 today, and then realizing that my left shin bone actually just straight up shattered.

Currently my life is like test driving a used truck that “Runs great with no issues” and then finding out that something’s wrong with the transmission that makes it feel like it may or may not be jumping into hyper drive…..hyper space?…that super fast thing they do in star wars…? While pressing on the gas.

Currently my life is like trying to get my nephew to kiss me. Because he won’t.

…

……

Currently my life is like the pile of neatly folded laundry on the spare bed in my room. Just kidding actually, because it’s not folded.

Currently…being an adult has been hard and I’m realizing I’m kinda bad at it.

Love,

The most dramatic complainer in the ENTIRE world