Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a pessimist 99.6 percent of the time..but I tend to believe that if you’re having a rough a week, or if you’ve been going through something hard for the past month, or if maybe you’re just super sad about something at the moment, things aren’t going to magically change for you when the clock strikes 12 on Thursday. You do not get a clean slate on January 1st. But it’s ok, cause I’m not the kind of girl who’s ever wanted one. My “slate” is messy and chaotic and it’s what’s made me who I am..and this past year played a huge role in that. 

There were big changes.

For example: I became single for the first time in a very long time. 

There were little changes.

For example: My leg muscles grew…like maybe a millimeter and a half.

There were wild and fun nights with some of my best friends. 

There were hotel rooms and cruise ships.

There were nights filled with campfire smoke and the sound of my family members laughing and talking together in our backyard.

There were spontaneous adventures.

There were weightlifting competitions.

And there were nights where I literally thought I might cry until my tear ducts gave up. 

I learned not to fear being alone.

I learned that it’s ok not to have a plan.

I learned what it feels like to go out of my comfort zone and actually like, you know…make friends. 

I learned to stop caring about what everyone else might think.

I learned to live in the moment.

I learned that it’s ok to make hard decisions some people may not understand.

I learned that I’m stronger than I think I am.

I learned what it feels like to be very, very lonely. 

And I learned what it feels like to be very, very content.

2015 was pretty much equal parts suck-fest and equal parts amazing. Sometimes the years that feel the hardest can also be the ones that are the most important though..and as much as I hate the idea of being sentimental about stupid things like this, I definitely think this past year is one that will forever be a stand out for me. But then again, who knows what’s coming? 

Love,

The girl who thinks a lot when she should be sleeping