I remember this one interaction that I had with my parents like five hundred years ago or something. I couldn’t have been older than six, because we were still living in our old house. I was sick. And they came into my bedroom to change me into one of my dad’s t-shirts because of a fever. 

There wasn’t anything special about the moment. There wasn’t even anything special about the shirt. It was just a flimsy plain white undershirt that he had to wear under his CHP uniform. There was however, something comforting about all of it. About being cared for and being put in something soft and cool and huge.

This past week has been hard. And this past weekend was even harder. Usually I like to think of myself as a strong person…I try not to let things bother me. But, I’m not feeling very strong right now. 

Lately my life has felt kind of like how getting sick feels. 

Inconvenient

Disappointing

Pointless

No one wants to get sick…I mean, at least no one normal wants to get sick. And no one…wants the disappointing, life altering interruptions that come with…just, living. The kind that leave us thinking “What the hell was the point of that? Of all this?”

I wish more than anything I had answers. I wish more than anything I was still at an age where putting a big comfy t-shirt on could make me feel better. 

Right now all I can cling to is that I believe God has a plan for my life…and I might not know what that plan is yet, but maybe someday I’ll figure it out…and maybe when I do things will feel ok again. 

…And maybe next time I blog I promise it won’t be depressing. 

 Love,

The girl who can’t sleep. 

Hi. My name is Candace and I used to blog….this is my first post in five years so please feel free to chill out if it doesn’t make the most sense. 

Here are some majorest of major life events that have happened in the past five years:

10. I uh, strung two kipping pull-ups together today and then my arms said “nope.” And I could not for the life of me do it again…cause I mean, I tried SO hard…like three times. My commitment should astound you. 

0. I went over to a family’s house to meet up with some friends that were visiting. There were Carmelita bars. 

0.1. Carmelita bars are my love language. 

0.2. Carmelita bars are my soul mate.

0.3. I ate like…six. 

0.4. I didn’t regret it. Not even once. 

0.5….Because Carmelita bars are my love language. 

36. Our backyard got plants and stuff. (Please note. This a legitimate major life event, not a Candace type major life event.)

D. My nephew laughed at me and I died. 

D-92. So basically I’ve died like 500 times.  

50. I snatched 90 pounds last week. 

50.1. !!!!!!!!

1,237. My alarm went off at 6:50 on Saturday morning. I leaked tears and maybe cussed like five times because my brain doesn’t work that early and I couldn’t figure out how to turn the alarm off. 

4. I’ve begun to shave my legs more than three times a week. 

4.1. I’ve also begun to wear Nike shorts. 

4.2. Nike shorts are my love language. 

4.3. Nike Shorts are not my love language when they ride up…like every two seconds.

531. My sister just asked me to arm wrestle…it was a tie…I don’t know how I feel about it. 

Love, 

The girl with THE most major events happening like, every day.