So I have a car. Lots of people do. 

I lease my car. Lots of people do. 

My car is a 2014 Ford Fusion. Many people drive them. I see them on the roads all the time. 

My car has cloth seats. I’m sure a lot of other people who own/lease 2014 ford fusions have cloth seats in theirs too. 

I drink coffee.  A lot of people do. Like probably millions. 

I drink coffee out of a straw sometimes….no one else does this. I checked. 

When I drink coffee out of a straw, I don’t screw the lid on my coffee. Again, no one does this. I checked. 

My car has cup holders. All cars do. 

My coffee cup is tall and slender. I’m sure a lot of coffee cups are. 

Usually, when putting my coffee cup in the cup holder of my car, I assume that it’s secure. A lot of people probably assume this as well. 

I have a bad habit of spilling coffee in the mornings…hence, why I need the coffee. No one else does this. I checked. 

I fill my coffee to the brim of the cup in order to get as much into my little…fine. Ok, average sized body as I can.  Probably a ton of people do this too. 

Typically I keep napkins in my glove box. Many people do this. 

I’m out of napkins. I’m sure other people are out of napkins too.

This morning I created a coffee lake in my car…no one else did this. I checked. 

This morning I spewed expletives. 

Love, 

The non dramatic, only coffee spiller in the entire world. 

P.S. Who do you use to detail your cars? 

Number 3! I don’t really understand how, but like 5,000 U2 songs have made their way onto my phone. 

I probably can’t even name a single U2 song. 

Just kidding. I absolutely can’t name a single U2 song. 

I pretty much put the no in Bono. 

Number 12! I recently discovered that I make the dumbest jokes.

…like discovered it two seconds ago.

Number 105! For the first 24 years and 4 months of my life, I was pretty positive that I had no biceps. Turns out I do. They’ve shown up exactly…a milimeter. I know. Congrats to me. 

Number 27! Frozen Free Fall has officially ruined my social life. 

It’s either that or the fact that I might actually qualify as the least social person on the planet to begin with, so. 

Number 89! Last week I ranked 10,487 out of 12,536 women in the world of CrossFit. 

All I have to say is, at least I’m not 12,536th.

..Yet. 

Number 457! K this one isn’t really my Major Life Event… But it is the only actual one listed and um, I’m her sister so I can brag. 



Becca graduates from college tomorrow! I’m so proud of all the work she’s put in to her education and I’m also proud of her patience with the other girls she worked along side every day. Cause I mean, let’s just say that if I was being called “Ebola Becca” everyday, I probably wouldn’t just ignore them. 

She’s beautiful and smart and funny and crazy and insane and she pisses me off like no one else and she’s kind and sweet and can sometime be…the opposite of sweet but it doesn’t matter cause I love her. 

The end. 

Love, 

The queen of the run-on sentence. 

I don’t find Luke Bryan attractive…at all really.