…That I don’t really want the answer to

Why is it, that I’m in bed at 8:30 PM and yet won’t fall asleep until 1:00 AM?

Am I the only one who tries to make coffee…on multiple occasions, without putting the water in the coffee maker?

Why doesn’t it snow in Salinas?

…Why can’t we have Juno in Salinas?

It’s completely normal to press snooze five million times before getting out of bed, right?

I’m not the only one who looks like I’ve broken my nose when I’m tired…am I?

It it ok that I still have toe nail polish on my toes from November 16^th? Yeah? Ok, great…thanks for clearing that one up for me.  It looks…great by the way. There’s exactly one speck of pink on each toe. Love it.

…Does the question above insinuate that I’m lazy?

…Don’t you wish that you were as glamorous as me?

Can we all just pretend that I don’t have a mental break down every time I feel like I’m going to die while working out?

…Can we also pretend that it’s not every second of every work out that I feel like I’m going to die? Oh good, thanks.

Is it normal to just feel so, so lost when I finish a book? And I can’t even mentally prepare myself to find another one to read because I feel like it’s not gonna be as good as the last one?

Do you think other drivers on the road think I’m crazy cause I smile like an idiot the entire drive to work because the Bobby Bones show is just the best?

Do you talk to your cat like it’s a human too…? Cause Major gets me.

Love,

The Inquirer

Coming up on this episode of Candace is a Basket Case and a Half: Foxcatcher was crazy. Foam rollers save lives and butts. And perfect pony tails happen before sleeping. So um, The Seahawks are going to the Superbowl…again. Excuse me while I go throw confetti in the air. I would like nothing more than for my team to absolutely obliterate the Patriots. That’s all.   And speaking of sports, Colin and I went on a breakfast/movie/lunch date over the weekend and we saw Foxcatcher. It was definitely not my favorite…but it was still pretty good, and CRAZY. The fact that it’s a true story just makes it completely bizarre and so much better. Check it out. Steve Carell was super good.

Speaking of running…Oh, we weren’t. Silver and I have been running two miles almost every day before working out. My shins cannot hang. Neither can my emotions. I cry the whole two miles and wish that I was home eating Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream instead. And speaking of working out…Somehow I’ve hurt my right butt cheek. Yes…I just typed butt cheek, get over it. It’s been throbbing…and the muscle has been so, so, tight. So in a manner of desperation I purchased this little dream: That, my friends, is a tank of a foam roller. And it is saving my life one roll at a time. Because asking your mom to massage your calves when they’re sore is a totally different thing than asking your mom to massage your right butt cheek when it’s sore. The foam roller wins. Also, the brother thinks the foam roller is a pillow. Speaking of pillows…has anyone else had that horribly frustrating experience where you mindlessly throw your hair up to wash your face before going to sleep and it comes out absolutely perfect? Like the most perfect pony tail that you could ever imagine and then you just sit there staring at it and leaking tears because you’re about to go to bed and why couldn’t that happen to you on…oh I don’t know, a day where it matters?? Thank you for your support on this very important matter. Love, The runner who dreams of ice cream.

Oh my goodness.  The Sea Hawks and the Packers and the Panthers are all in the NFL Playoffs and I’m not even sure what to do with myself.  I’m also not sure how to handle a cold that won’t go away and I can’t take cold medicine for.  I’m also not sure how YOU’RE going to handle all of these Disneyland pictures.  There’s 500.

I lied.  There’s 32.

We started with California Adventure annnnd I loved it.  The decorations everywhere were so cute, the Ferris wheel at night is stunning, and tower of terror made my cheeks tingle.

Please note, it was also one degree the entire time we were there.  I’m not sure how any of us survived.

Cars Land was easily my favorite part.

I mean, come on.

The nephew and the Brother In Law

The Mickey Mouse beanie killed me.

I’m not sure why, but I absolutely love this picture.  The sibs just strollin.

My beautiful Momma.

Me, straight up nerding.

The sister being the sister.

Forever obsessed with Bokeh.

Annnnd the end.

I lied.  There’s still like 300 more.

So day two was obviously Disneyland and I’ve never felt like I was going to die from lack of caffeine more than when we were walking to the park in the morning.

That…is why I look half dead in this photo. Also the jacket that I’m wearing might as well just be my soul mate.

Literally, decorations everywhere.  Also probably the most insane crowd experience I’ve ever had.

I was slightly obsessed with their wreaths.  Don’t worry, I felt weird about it too.

I was also determined to get a photograph of the tea cup ride.

You guys, is that not the prettiest castle you’ve ever seen?

Probably the worst photo of my family in the history of…ever, but they’re my people, so…I had to.

Love,

The survivors of Disneyland the week after Christmas.

Breaking News: Blake Lively had a baby.

Breaking News: It’s 2015.

Breaking News: Today was the first Monday of 2015.

Breaking News: I had chai instead of coffee. I’m ok with that decision….because it was a delicion….

…

…

Breaking News: I rang in the new year with a cold that has yet to go away. I’m only ok with it leaving though if it takes my voice with it. I’d rather be hoarse, husky, and scratchy voiced, always and forever. Amen.

Breaking News: Today was the first day of the year…and the first day in eleven days that I worked out. My body is still processing this. I’ll get back to you on whether or not it stays in shock and continues to refrain from moving tomorrow morning as well.

Breaking News: I dropped a five pound weight on my shin.

Breaking News: It was a wonderful feeling.

Breaking News: I washed my bed sheets because I was feeling icky from the cold, and putting them back on my bed this evening might have been harder than the previously mentioned work out.

Breaking News: A slew of Disneyland pictures from my family’s trip is coming your way…pronto. Or in maybe ten days. Whenever I have time, really, so be patient.

Breaking News: I recently, like two hours ago, ate Skinny Girl lime flavored popcorn.

Breaking News: There might be a repeat of that event in my future.

Breaking News: I’m going to bed now…And you better believe that I’m going to use a pillow case with Taylor Lautner’s face on it. Thanks Becc.

Love,

The world’s worst news anchor