Disclaimer:  These life events are by no means major…and by all means minor.  Please, turn back now.  Actually on second thought, don’t.  I must be heard!!

3.  I did something this weekend that I’ve wanted to do for years…years!  I bought Crest Whitestrips.  The intense kind.  When I was younger I had a skateboarding accident and ended up chipping the inside corner of my front tooth.  Because of that, I’ve never been able to whiten my teeth.  The composite won’t whiten and I’ve never wanted a yellow spot on the front of my tooth, but I really can’t stand how yellow my teeth are anymore.  So I did it! I’m going to whiten them for a few weeks and just deal (Have a meltdown every day) with how it looks and then I’m getting the composite replaced with a whiter one.  Ta-da.  So simple.  I’m actually thinking about posting before and after pictures.  Because I know that everyone’s dream is to see a close up of my teeth.  Update…it’s extremely painful and I’m a wimp.  I thought I was tough before doing this…and now I know the truth…I’m just a big baby.

8.  I finally allowed myself to start listening to Christmas music.  I’ve been semi doing this for the past month, but I knew that if I really let myself, I would go off the deep end…So I held back. But no more!!!  I am full on, belting in my car, Christmas spirit bursting out my ears now.  So please, prepare accordingly.  Christmas is my love.  Christmas and I are best friends.  Christmas makes me happier than football.  I want every month of the year to fluctuate between November and December.  Christmas and I hang.  Christmas is my homie.  Christmas and I just…get each other.

15.  My fantasy football team lost this past Sunday.  I cried and wailed and wept and I didn’t look cute.

42.  In recent months, I have become a coffee drinker.  I previously did not drink coffee often.  I would have it occasionally, but nothing regular because my body has a serious lack of tolerance for caffeine…and if I’m being honest…it has a serious lack of tolerance for alcohol as well.  Also, I am already plagued with severe headaches on the regular and didn’t want to add caffeine headaches into the mix.  So naturally, I started drinking coffee four mornings of the week and I built up a small tolerance to it! Next on the list is rum! Four days a week!…..ok I’m totally kidding about that one.

26.  I got a caffeine headache this past weekend. However, I don’t reward bad behavior so I punished my head by not drinking caffeine.  Yes, I’m just realizing how this sounds too.

6.  I fell in love with Mentos.  I cannot resist them and I’m planning our wedding.

1.  I’ve worked out three times this week…and it’s the third day of the week, so…I think it’s safe to say I’m on a roll, until tomorrow of course.

1.2.   While working out in my garage earlier this afternoon, a monster mosquito pulled a covert operation. The mission was this: Fly in undetected, extract the target, rendezvous and get out without being hit.  He was successful.

1.2.3. In related news, tomorrow my forearm will be twice the size, which is just what my arm self-esteem needs right now.  But that’s not all folks.  It will also have a lump and a scab and ooze clear liquid from the wound.  People will be running through the city screaming like Jamie Lee Curtis, trying to get away from my arm.

1.2.3.4.  Mosquitoes and I don’t get along.  Mosquitoes and I aren’t friends.  Mosquitoes and I don’t see eye to eye.  Mosquitoes and I will never take a long walk on a beach together.  Mosquitoes and I don’t hang.  We don’t have anything in common.

1.2.3.4.5.  Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of having an allergic reaction to the little suckers, they gave me a super power?  I can see it now…

My name would be Candace…I know, its way out there, kinda crazy, but I just think it suits me…I would be the normal, shy, introverted girl that no one noticed in college.  I hid my way through my classes and died a little inside every time I had to pass by the Sorority and Frat booths. Then, one day while…camping?  Sure, ok let’s go with it.  I got bit by a mosquito.  At first my body had the natural allergic reaction but then…oh, THEN crazy things started to happen.  I would wake up with a weird thirst for blood, and massive strength.  I could see way better than usual and *gasp* I could fly.  Yes, fly.

I would confide in my best friend: Wendy Washington.  With wind blown, wavy, wild and wondrous hair who wears white frequently, is wiry and witty, and has a unique interest in weather. Pop Quiz: How many W’s was in that wonderful and wordy description?

Wendy would help come up with a secret identity, my name would be Draq.

Wendy would be supportive at first, but she would eventually be overcome with jealousy and use her love of weather to turn herself into wind, wind that would disable and render me useless, weakening me to the point that I could be killed.  She tried to kill me in the end, but with the help of a scientist that I met along the way, we would capture her in wind form and keep her contained, locked away in a vault….forever.  Or…not?

In the second comic book, she would of course get loose and use her smarts to create my arch enemy.  Someone by the name of Skeeter Eater.  He’ll be four times my size and we’ll smash into every skyscraper in New York.

And uh….what was I saying?

Oh right.  I’ve built up a tolerance to coffee…..Yeah, right.