Lately the weather has been, according to some people, “beautiful.”  And lately, I’ve hated it.  I am not a sunshine and warm weather girl and this is not my idea of beautiful.  No.  Give me rain, give me clouds, give me snow, give me hail, give me thunder and lightning and 30 degrees.  Right now.  Every day.  Yes Please.  My mom is probably about to hang herself if she hears: “Uhg, I’m so over this warm weather.  I just want it to be cold.  I want fall!” from me one more time.

I really can’t explain why I feel this way about the weather, but I always have.  And I mean, it varies…cause I love the hot weather in North Carolina when we visit in the summers, and I didn’t mind the weather in Arizona when I’ve visited the past two times either.  But that might be the point…I’m visiting those places, I’m on vacation and vacations are supposed to be hot, warm, swimming pool type things.  YaknowwhaImsayin?

(I have a point to all this.  Promise.  Just hang with me for like two seconds until I get there.)

ONE of the reasons that I’m not the biggest fan of the annoying, sunny, 75-80 degree weather that we’re having is because of spiders.  Spiders are not my friends, I do not greet them politely when I see them…And for some weird reason, when it’s warm outside, they are plentiful inside.  See, I live in a neighborhood called Creek Bridge.  It isn’t just called Creek Bridge to be cute, There’s really a creek!…that happens to be so dry it might as well be considered part of the Sahara, but who cares, the point is, there’s a creek in Creek Bridge.  And if your next question happens to be ‘are there bridges’ then yes, there are.  Now that we have that settled, can we move on please?

So anyway, this lovely little creek is full of spiders, and spider webs, and trash…but mostly spiders! And they aren’t the small ones.  They’re the kind that Frodo fights, with the big butt and tiny head.  They’re the kind that Kristen Dunst smashes in Jumanji.  They’re the kind that Ron Weasley’s afraid of.  They’re the kind that are the size of Buicks. Massive.  Ugly.  Gag-worthy.  Back to the problem…My house sits right…here! I made this beautiful diagram just…for…you.

As you can see, we’re surrounded.  Here’s my theory.  I think, that when the spiders travel to other parts of the creek to like, go chill with their friends and stuff, instead of staying in the creek, they cut across.  But halfway to their friends house, they hit ours and figure out that there’s girls who live inside.  And since all spiders are pranksters, they obviously decide to come in and try to scare us.  Most of the time is doesn’t happen, because most of the time we’re bigger than them, but sometimes there’s that one that is so big he has to squeeze through the front door, and then things get a little freaky.

There’s a video that I’ve been trying to find for a few weeks now.  And I finally found it.  Before I let you watch it though I need to explain a few things:

It was 2007, I had just finished my sophomore year.  I am a fetus in this video.

It had been warm, ridiculously warm for a summer in Monterey County.

The spider in this video was harmed…If you are a spider rights activist, please don’t watch.

The people in the background are Silver and Rebecca.

It was a stressful time for me, I’m not nice in this video.

My weapon was a hairspray lid.

I do not scream when I’m scared…ever.  When I’m scared, I get silent.  As a matter of fact, when I’m excited, I’m silent.  When I’m happy, I’m silent.  When I’m bored, I’m silent.  When I’m having a conversation with someone, I’m silent.

With all that being said….Please feel free to experience the incredible video, and the aftermath that follows, below.

And that, people!..Is one reason why warm weather is the worst.