I wore white jeans.

…Wearing white jeans is like eating spaghetti in a wedding dress.

I drove to San Jose/San Mateo to visit some of my favorite people.

While in San Jose, I got to eat breakfast with my friend Jessica.  I ordered an omelet that came with hashbrowns…and I substituted my piece of toast for what I thought would be ONE pancake.  The omelet was the size of a fiesta burrito, and the TWO pancakes were bigger than my head.  I popped.

I got to see my semi-sister Laura play in a super intense, nail biting, back and forth volleyball game in a three story gym…..at a high school.  Craziness.  They won by the way.  (Confetti! Confetti!)

I was able to sit and spend some time with my “school mom,” Heidi.  I missed her.

…Wearing white jeans is like trying to maneuver through mud and stay clean in brand new Tennis Shoes.

I made my first Long Island Iced Tea…unsuccessfully.  Unless Long Islands are supposed to taste exactly like Margaritas.

I watched three football games on Sunday.

I napped on Sunday.

I drooled on Sunday.

…Wearing white jeans is like trying to get through a mine field safely.

I edited 3.78 million photographs on Saturday.  AND it rained.  (Confetti! Confetti!)

I sat happily at my kitchen counter next to my WoodWick candle and listened to it crackle.

I blistered the roof of my mouth on chili…and made a mental note to never eat chili again.

I had chili for lunch today.

…Wearing white jeans is kind of like walking through a room full of finger painting preschoolers and expecting not to get hit.

My boyfriend cooked me steak.  It was pretttty tasty.  I’ll keep him around, I think.

I DID NOT wash my car.

I DID clean my room.  (Confetti! Confetti!)

I watched The Impossible.  I was a basket case and a half throughout the whole movie.  A lot of talking to the screen.  A lot of chills.  A lot of tears silently leaking down my face.

…Wearing white jeans is like sitting on the side of a pool and expecting not to get wet.

Hope your weekend…and Monday, was great!

So far my week has been….brain dead.  I’ve been staying up wayyy too late recently, but it’s totally by choice!  Aye, it’s ALL my doing James Hook.

…

Side note: Ya’ll have no idea how badly I wished Neverland and Peter Pan were real back in the day.  It had everything I loved:  Puffy clouds, striped shirts, crocodiles, pointy shoes, and Petaa!…No really though, crocodiles were my thang.  I had a stuffed animal crocodile.  It was my sick pet.  My parents deserve an award for letting me fly my freak flag.

…

The only thing about the lack of sleep that I’m not overly fond of, is that having bricks safety pinned to my eyelids isn’t actually comfortable, believe it or not.  I’m really not affected by the exhaustion other than that though…the black tires around my eyes and constant drool have nothing to do with it…that’s just me and all my natural charm.

…

Side note: I forgot to put deodorant on today.  I remembered halfway to work.  I was elated.  Chuffed, if you will.

…

Did you know that the whole time Indiana Jones was searching for the Holy Grail in The Last Crusade, that he was actually searching for my lap top?…Poor guy, he ended up getting stuck with a glorified wine glass.  You didn’t know that though?  I didn’t either until today.  My computer came down with a combination of Rheumatic fever and Pneumonia this afternoon…….

…

Side note: Too soon?…love you, Becc!

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Photos and a ridiculous amount of documents are easily the most important things on my lap top, so naturally, that makes it the Holy Grail.  Almost losing them was…hyperventilating.

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Side note: Can hyperventilating be an adjective instead of a verb?

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Good news though, my mom’s a brain surgeon and she fixed it while simultaneously juggling six grapefruits, cleaning out the garage, and doing back flips on a trampoline.  I like her.

…

Side note: My Superdad and his sidekick BOYfriend pulled a Special Ops mission and rescued me on Highway 68 today.  I was stranded with a cat as high as a kite and two Wiiiiild and crasssy bolts that decided to dance their way loose and let my hood fly its freak flag…Just kidding cause I pulled over and scolded that hood of mine real quick.  Its freak flag was shut down for good.

…

The end.

Before I jump into things, I really just have to say that brushing your teeth in the shower is probably THE most satisfying experience…ever.  If you’ve never done it, drop everything and go now.  Your teeth will feel the most clean they ever have.  Now.  Go.

Ok, so now that you’ve done that and feel the most refreshed you’ve ever felt in your life, let’s move on and talk about something completely unrelated.

If you happen to follow this little blog of mine…and by follow what I mean is, you read the thing that I post on here once every six months, then you should know three very important things about me:

#1.  I love to work out regularly, about once every two weeks.

#2.  Grammar is my strong suit.  All those periods are CORRECTLY USED……Trust me.

#3.  I have a passion for photography that surpasses my passion for Superman…um, what?

Yes.  Photography.  I love it.  In fact!…I may or may not have majored in it.  Some people think this is crazy.  “Art majors make no money, it’s hard, you have to market yourself, you have to know how to do good business.” Yes, yes, we’ve heard it all, and we do it anyway…why?  Because we can’t imagine doing anything else for a living and being remotely happy about it.

So that’s where I’m at.  I graduated this past May and it feels like time has already flown by, time that I’ve spent NOT doing what I majored in.  Ch’yeah…not taking photographs.   But that’s ok, because honestly, I felt like I needed the break.  33 hours a week IN JUST CLASS, 18 units, and countless hours on top of that working on art assignments and photo assignments January through May will burn a person out, no matter how creative he or she may be.

After school I felt like the creativity had been sucked out of me.  Assignment after assignment of fast paced, cram to come up with a concept, gather all your props and PEOPLE, photograph, edit, and have ready for presentation within ten days, over and over and over and over again over the course 4.5 months killed me.  It melted my brain so hard core to the point of me accidentally locking myself in a bathroom with a man while he was in the middle of pooping….oh…you haven’t heard that story?

I needed a break.  And taking one was kind of hard…People down right expect you to MOVE and hit the ground sprinting like a zombie after a human when you graduate college.  Questions like “What are you doing now?  What are your plans?  Have you taken any photographs?  How ‘bout this week?  Why don’t you set up a photo shoot?  Have you gotten a job?  How’s the planning coming?” Pop up again and again and again.  I was even walking through Target minding my own business one day and a two year old stopped and asked me why I hadn’t been taking pictures….people just KNOW when you’ve graduated.  The pressure is on and frankly, it’s really just not helpful.

I needed to breathe and just….not do photography for a little while.  And even when I wasn’t doing photography, I was.  I took like 7 million photographs throughout the course of my vacation and I enjoyed doing it, but at the same time, I passed my camera off to my dad or mom A LOT and said “Here, you do it for a little while.  PLEASE!”

During the time period between graduation and now, I wasn’t worried.  I knew what was going on, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt what I am most passionate about, what I love, and what I dream about for my future, and photography is one of those things.  It just took a while…Last month I started feeling it again though.  I walked around the house aimlessly CRAVING to do something creative, anything.  I even resorted to: wrapping twine around a beer bottle…don’t judge me, it’s cute.  I colored in coloring pages, and I made a metal pumpkin.  But it wasn’t satisfying, and that’s when I knew it was time.

I started to create a logo, and it took a few days to get things how I wanted them…I had to feel super happy with it before I decided I was finished because #1, I need to brand myself, and #2, I don’t want to look back at it in a month and have the same feeling as I do when I think about the fact that I used to wear digital cammo pants…..I haven’t mentioned that I used to be a tomboy?…Oops.

Anyway, I got the logo done, but I still wasn’t being satisfied in the creativity department, I can’t even explain the feeling…like this deep longing inside me coming from my gut to create something.  So I did.  I texted some friends and asked to take their portraits, and you know what?  It was great.  I felt a little awkward at first, trying to get the hang of things again, but It wasn’t anything new; I just had to feel it.

So that’s where I’m at….I’m starting new.  I’ve had a Facebook page for my photography for almost three years now, and today I deleted almost entirely everything from it.  I want to start over.  I want to create a cohesive style, put my mark on something that people will see and be almost 100% sure that It’s my work.  I want to stand out, and I plan on doing so.  I’m GOOD at what I do! And some people may think it’s conceited or cocky for me to say so, but I don’t care.  I’m good, and the more I do what I love the better at it I’ll get.  I’m going after this thing with a vengeance.  I am going to make a living off of what I love.

Right now, my Facebook page is vulnerable and kind of naked, so when you look at it try to think adorable baby, not nudist beach, ok?  Hang in there with me because soon it’s going to be a lot more busy.

Here’s the link to it! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Candace-Mann-Photography/163478633687664

ALSO! Here is my graphic.  The beginning of my “brand.”  And here’s three reasons why you shouldn’t be too critical of this…

1. I’m not a graphic design major.  I have never taken a graphic design class.  I didn’t use Illustrator.
2. I’m not a graphic design major.  I have never taken a graphic design class.  I didn’t use Illustrator.
3. I’m not a graphic design major.  I have never taken a graphic design class.  I didn’t use Illustrator.

Now, here’s some pictures of the two stunning and lovely girls who were willing to let me photograph them last week.  These are just previews, more images are coming…and if you like these…and by like I mean you don’t want to gag when you see them, then go to my Facebook page…..and like them!  So crazy and so simple, right?  I may be a genius.  If you don’t like them, that’s cool too.

So that’s all.  I just wanted to share what’s been going on.  Usually these posts are full of complete and utter incoherent shenanigans, and more often than not, they will continue to be.  But I felt like tonight I needed to change it up.  I’m straight up excited.  Bye.

FACT: I hate putting on makeup.

FACT: I hate taking off makeup.

FACT:  I do it anyway.

FACT: Since I turned 21, I’ve wanted to be one of those BA, cool, mysterious girls who could order a shot of whiskey, shoot it, and not even blink.

FACT: People do this on Justified all the time.

FACT: I tried it once.  Cause if they could do it, then why couldn’t I, right?

FACT: I died.

FACT:  Apparently, I will never be one of those BA, cool, mysterious girls.

FACT: When I use my computer for long periods of time, things get cray…specifically with my vision.

FACT: I have glasses for computer use.

FACT: I should probably use them for actual computer use instead of fashion purposes.

FACT: I am the worst at checking my email, replying to email, and anything involving email in general.

FACT: Tiger Balm is the best thing I have ever smelled.

FACT: Nothing will out smell it in my world, nothing.  No, not even Vicks.  So don’t try to convince me.

FACT: My favorite song changes hourly.

FACT: I have a headache the size of Texas…If headaches can have sizes.

FACT: Wearing sweaters makes me smile.

FACT: I’m going to bed.

Yesterday was a very odd day.  I would almost go as far as to say it was a Terrible, Horrible No Good, Very bad day.  But yet, there were also some good things about it.  Wanna hear?  No?  Oh…well, too bad.

So it started off with my alarm clock going off, and let me tell you.  There’s nothing quite like getting out of bed that’ll make me want to get back in it.  My phone started ringing at 8:00, and I pressed the snooze button until 8:15.  Those extra fifteen minutes were going to be great…but no, no.  They didn’t happen.  Here’s what did instead:

Major, our kitten, wandered into my room and at first I thought he just wanted to snuggle, but out of nowhere, he was behind my blinds and beginning to climb the screen in my window.  My bedroom is on the second floor of the house, and the drop from my window is…well, not cat friendly.  I snapped into action quickly, yanking my blinds away from the window sill and grabbing him, narrowly saving his life.  For two seconds I was a real life fireman.  But then Major decided to freak out and knock over my full glass of water.  The water went everywhere…everywhere! On my Kindle, on my Bible, on every picture frame, on every book, on my lap top battery, on my kindle charger, everything.  To say that I regretted saving Major’s life was an understatement.  I actually considered opening the screen and chucking him out the window myself, but I didn’t have time.  By the time I had it all cleaned up, I was in a rush to get ready and leave the house to get to work on time.

Usually I’m not a huge caffeine person.  I try to stay away from it because I already suffer from migraines to begin with, and I really don’t need caffeine headaches on top of those.  But yesterday, I really needed some caffeine.  Quickly I scrambled to make some chai, poured it straight into a thermos, and ran out the front door.  Once I reached my car though I realized that the garage door was somehow left open, and of course, my garage door remote was taken out of my car, so I hopped back out of my car and rushed to shut the garage door.  Finally after that, I was off.

On the way to work, I eagerly grabbed my thermos full of chai that I had made earlier, popped open the lid, and took a huge gulp.  My mind, my body, and especially my tongue were not ready for what was coming. Boiling lava hot chai landed on my tongue and melted me to my core.  “Ahhh!” I exclaimed, trying to recover from the searing pain.  I then proceeded to find out through the rest of my drive that I’m not smart.  No, I’m pretty dumb to be honest…cause I did that same thing probably ten times before I reached Monterey.  Who does that?  Who burns their tongue ten times in row knowing that it hurt the last time, but thinking oh mayyybe it’ll be cooler now that sixty seconds has passed.  I do, that’s who.

After work, I was in a hurry to leave and get to the CHOMP Blood Center before they closed so I could give blood.  But the parking lot at the offices is downhill from the road, and a lady with a lottttt of things in the back of her truck was in front of me.  As she pulled forward, her things slid backward landing loudly on the concrete in front me.  And of course, me being the sweet, angelic, kind, nice, happy person that I am ALL THE TIME…24/7…365 days a year, I threw my car in park and jumped out to help her pick it all up.

“You might as well just go.” She said.  “There’s no way you can lift it.”

Pff, this lady…did she not know that I was Wonder Woman?  Super Girl?  Bat Girl?  All rolled into one?  She must not have heard of me.  So I brushed it off and continued to walk forward confidently.  “No, no.  It’s ok! I can just help you get it out of the way.”

“Ok, well thank you.” She replied, beginning to squat down near her pile of things.

Please hear me, I did not know what I was about to pick up, but I quickly realized.  There was a pool table, a large flat screen television, all the legs to the pool table, and then a lawn chair or two.  Now, let me just tell you that every time…in my entire life, that I’ve heard someone say aloud “Don’t lift with your back.” I’ve always thought WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?  HOW CAN YOU LIFT WITH YOUR BACK?  HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? DUMBEST ADVICE EVER.

…Hi.  Yesterday I Learned what it means to lift with your back, and why it should not be done.  In fact, I’m still learning…every time I move.  Side note, did you know that pool tables are heavy?

“OK, ok.” I grunted, “Maybe we shouldn’t lift it!” She agreed quickly and we dropped the load back down onto the driveway.

“Let’s just drag it to the side, Ok?” I suggested.

“Yeah that’s fine, I’ll have to get someone to come pick it up with me later.  I don’t have time right now.” She responded.  “Thank you for helping me though!”

I told her it was no problem and then retreated back to my Jeep to get to the Blood Center.

After the Blood Center, I jumped in my car in a hurry to get home.  All I wanted was to be at home after a long day…but after two seconds of driving I realized that my bladder was so full I could probably have created a lake, but there was no way I was stopping.  So I held it like the big girl I am and died five times while I drove home.  Apparently road rage takes on a whole new meaning when one’s bladder is full.

 

So um…that was it.  That was pretty much the end of my day.  It wasn’t the best…but it also wasn’t the worst.  Here’s some things that happened that I liked:

I saw two Teslas…oops, excuse me while I wipe the drool off my keyboard.  Ok, I’m back now.

I gave blood, and found out that next time I donate I will have officially given a gallon.  What?? Crazy.

I got some things done that I’ve wanted to get done for a long time.

I got to see the little raccoon that’s been making itself at home in our garage for the past…years. The cutest.

Annnnnnd I got to go to sleep.

Tada! See?  Monday’s aren’t that bad.

Lately the weather has been, according to some people, “beautiful.”  And lately, I’ve hated it.  I am not a sunshine and warm weather girl and this is not my idea of beautiful.  No.  Give me rain, give me clouds, give me snow, give me hail, give me thunder and lightning and 30 degrees.  Right now.  Every day.  Yes Please.  My mom is probably about to hang herself if she hears: “Uhg, I’m so over this warm weather.  I just want it to be cold.  I want fall!” from me one more time.

I really can’t explain why I feel this way about the weather, but I always have.  And I mean, it varies…cause I love the hot weather in North Carolina when we visit in the summers, and I didn’t mind the weather in Arizona when I’ve visited the past two times either.  But that might be the point…I’m visiting those places, I’m on vacation and vacations are supposed to be hot, warm, swimming pool type things.  YaknowwhaImsayin?

(I have a point to all this.  Promise.  Just hang with me for like two seconds until I get there.)

ONE of the reasons that I’m not the biggest fan of the annoying, sunny, 75-80 degree weather that we’re having is because of spiders.  Spiders are not my friends, I do not greet them politely when I see them…And for some weird reason, when it’s warm outside, they are plentiful inside.  See, I live in a neighborhood called Creek Bridge.  It isn’t just called Creek Bridge to be cute, There’s really a creek!…that happens to be so dry it might as well be considered part of the Sahara, but who cares, the point is, there’s a creek in Creek Bridge.  And if your next question happens to be ‘are there bridges’ then yes, there are.  Now that we have that settled, can we move on please?

So anyway, this lovely little creek is full of spiders, and spider webs, and trash…but mostly spiders! And they aren’t the small ones.  They’re the kind that Frodo fights, with the big butt and tiny head.  They’re the kind that Kristen Dunst smashes in Jumanji.  They’re the kind that Ron Weasley’s afraid of.  They’re the kind that are the size of Buicks. Massive.  Ugly.  Gag-worthy.  Back to the problem…My house sits right…here! I made this beautiful diagram just…for…you.

As you can see, we’re surrounded.  Here’s my theory.  I think, that when the spiders travel to other parts of the creek to like, go chill with their friends and stuff, instead of staying in the creek, they cut across.  But halfway to their friends house, they hit ours and figure out that there’s girls who live inside.  And since all spiders are pranksters, they obviously decide to come in and try to scare us.  Most of the time is doesn’t happen, because most of the time we’re bigger than them, but sometimes there’s that one that is so big he has to squeeze through the front door, and then things get a little freaky.

There’s a video that I’ve been trying to find for a few weeks now.  And I finally found it.  Before I let you watch it though I need to explain a few things:

It was 2007, I had just finished my sophomore year.  I am a fetus in this video.

It had been warm, ridiculously warm for a summer in Monterey County.

The spider in this video was harmed…If you are a spider rights activist, please don’t watch.

The people in the background are Silver and Rebecca.

It was a stressful time for me, I’m not nice in this video.

My weapon was a hairspray lid.

I do not scream when I’m scared…ever.  When I’m scared, I get silent.  As a matter of fact, when I’m excited, I’m silent.  When I’m happy, I’m silent.  When I’m bored, I’m silent.  When I’m having a conversation with someone, I’m silent.

With all that being said….Please feel free to experience the incredible video, and the aftermath that follows, below.

And that, people!..Is one reason why warm weather is the worst.

Last night I watched Silver linings playbook for the first time.  I really liked it, but parts of it were hard to watch.  The end made me cry.   I started it at 11:30.  It’s a two hour movie.  Today I was a zombie.  The last four sentences have had five words in them each…Yes, I did graduate college.  I’m just tired, please leave me alone.

When we first moved into this house I was six, turning seven.  I shared a room, it had two twin beds in it.  Since then I have pretty much ALWAYS shared a room, but when I was in high school I got a bed that was about a foot and a half off the ceiling.  It was the bessst. Under that bed, I had a chair, and during that time period, that chair was my closet.  Now my room has two twin beds in it again, and one of those beds becomes my closet throughout the week until I can’t stand it any longer and clean it up on the weekend.  What I’m basically trying to say is…putting away laundry is the one thing in this world that I’m absolutely the worst at.  Just kidding, I’m probably worse at riding horses.  Just kidding, it’s probably math that I’m the worst at.  Just kidding actually, cause I’m probably worse at Astronomy…oh wait, I passed that class..Nevermind.  Guess what I’m doing right now?  I’m sitting on my bed staring at pile of laundry on my other bed.  Can someone please come put it away for me?  Just kidding……

Yesterday I worked out so hard that the garage floor looked like it had been rained on, and my face looked like this!…Do you see that sweat? DO YOU?!

I felt really good.  And I decided to do it every. Single. Day.  So naturally, today I got home from work, cooked dinner, and then ate ice cream.  I’m known for being consistent, people.

I’m going to sleep now.