Facts and one Side Note

Fact: I’m terrified of California Highway Patrol officers. Ironic? “I’d like to think so” (typed in the voice of Ryan Reynolds playing Andrew in the Proposal)

Fact: A lot people that I encounter at school smell bad. And it makes me scared that their bad smell is going to attach itself to me. SO therefore, when I pass a person at school that smells wonderful, which does happen occasionally, I just want to turn around and hug them really tightly, thank them for wearing cologne or perfume and continue on with my day.

Fact: I practice Mixed Martial Arts in my sleep. It’s becoming a problem.

Fact: I like to blog in list form. It’s more fun.

Fact: The heater in my car is my friend and the best thing since sliced bread.

Side note! WHY do people use that expression? I just don’t get it. Was life really that much harder when bread was un-sliced? More importantly, was bread that much worse when it was un-sliced? Can someone who was alive before bread was sliced please enlighten me? I was born in an easier, sliced bread era…I’m un-educated. And for the record, I would eat bread whether it was sliced or not…because I love carbs and that’s how I roll. <and that was kind of an accidental joke.

Fact: My tongue is still not operating properly. I’m not liking this.

Fact: I’m doing the color run next weekend with my family and a bunch of friends. It’s the funnest. Thing. Ever. And I’m excited.

Fact: I obsess over music on a daily basis.

Fact: I want to stay in my bed all weekend and not get out once. At all. Ever. But I have a bladder…so..

Fact: I wore boots this week at school that gave my heels blisters. I’m now mad at them for being so rude. I think I’ll just have to shove them in my closet and not wear them for a while. Ha! That’ll show them.

Fact: I’ve had the same nail polish on my toes since before Christmas. I think I’m gonna try to go the whole year. Attractive, am I right? And bonus!..It’s nice and festive-red and green sparkles. Who WOULDN’T want that on their toes all year? I mean really.

Fact: The floor of my car on the passenger side is now a recycle bin.

Fact: I’m going to clean my car this weekend (I probably won’t clean my car this weekend.) It’s gonna happen! (It probably won’t happen.)

Fact: I’m leaving now. Love, Candace

Dear Baby letter #2

Hey Baybay, (Note, still not pregnant, previous post here!)

I’ve finally been able to admit to myself tonight that I have a problem. And it isn’t just one of those problems like “oh, darn…my tire is flat.” It’s a problem like “oh, darn…my tire just blew out, sparks were flying on the asphalt from the rim instantly hitting the ground, my car spun, then went down an embankment and slowly slid further into 14 inch thick mud…and I don’t have four wheel drive” kind of a problem. Do you know what I’m saying?

I’m sure by now you’re just screaming in your head while simultaneously rolling your eyes Mom!!! Get to the point already! What is this tire blow-out, massive, deep mud problem that you have? Well, I’ll tell you!…It’s that I want you. I want you here and in my arms and in my life and I wanted you to be here yesterday and 5 years ago too. But wait love, that’s not all!

My OTHER problem is that because I want you so badly, I can’t help myself but get emotional when I think about you, see other mommy’s with babies, or EVEN read about them on other blogs. Ok, Ok, I know I sound crazy…You’ll learn from the start that your mom likes to be ridiculous on a regular basis…and hopefully you’ll end up finding it endearing.

But that’s not the point!…the POINT is, that I went to Disneyland two years ago and had to fight back tears as I saw parents walking their kids through the park. The POINT is that I can’t read a single freaking one of Kelle Hampton’s or Naomi Davis’ blog posts about their children without crying. The POINT is, when I think about my life with you my eyes have random tsunamis…It’s very traumatic for those eye balls of mine.

…The POINT is baby, that I’m ready for you and yet, at the same time I’m totally not. There is no daddy yet, no money yet, no safe and warm house yet, just reality unfortunately. But besides all those things I don’t have yet, there is one thing I do have already…a massive, un-imaginable amount of love for you.

AND!…you member that problem I mentioned above? Yeah? Well that won’t always be a problem…I mean between you and me, I’ll probably alwayscry when I see sweet little babies with their mommies and daddies, and I’ll probably always be emotional about you, but that problem of wanting you? Well I think that’s gonna go away someday. =) And I can’t wait.

In the meantime, while I DO wait, allow me to fall apart into a thousand pieces onto the ground like that glass lid Uncle Matt dropped last night…while I watch this video for the 2736246.77 millionth time.

Questions I have.

School has been keeping me busy lately. Lots of reading about how to critique sculpture and lots of watching stupid and disturbing videos about Freudian theory and the subconscious….FOR A PHOTO CLASS.…I don’t get it either. We’ve all been brainwashed though apparently. Idk. Don’t ask me about it because I couldn’t explain. On second thought, maybe go ahead and go for it, cause I have to write an essay on it. Actually don’t. That’s my final answer. I don’t want to talk about it.

Anyway, now that we’ve cleared that up, I just wanted to share some questions that have been running through my head this week. Feel free to answer them accordingly.

Am I the only one who finds it unfair that King Kong’s big bro doesn’t need to maneuver the obstacles in Temple Run 2? Am I? no really guys…Am I??

Why am I so fearful of something that I don’t need to be afraid of?

How come on the week that Jamba Juice is selling 16oz drinks for one dollar, ONLY from 9-11 AM, do my classes last until 11 AM? Can someone tell me? Anyone? No? OK.

Why does Mariah Carey touch her hair the way that she does? Does it drive you nuts too?

Is it wrong that I hope my teacher stays sick and cancels class on Monday? I mean, it’s a holiday anyway right?

Why have I never been to New York?

Is it ok with you if I think charming poisonous snakes is really stupid? Really, I’m asking a serious question here…Is it ok with all of you? Oh, good!

Why have I been longing so badly to re-read books that I was required to read in high school?

That’s all I got..For now.

Love, Candace

Postpartum

I think I may be experiencing Postpartum Depression from these guys….

Or…maybe I’m experiencing PTSD from this….

(I don’t know why it’s so tiny, watch it on youtube if you want a better look)

Ok…I’m kind of joking about the Postpartum and the PTSD…but only kind of!

Or…it could be that in the three other times besides my tonsillectomy that I have been put under by anesthesia, my body has never reacted well..

Or…it could be the start of school…

But whatever it is, I feel really overwhelmed and discouraged and maybe even depressed. And I want that feeling to go away. Pronto.