When I was around ten years old, I decided four things:  By the time I was 22, I would (a) be living in New York City (not for forever, just for half a year!), (b) have a husband, (c) have a baby, and (d) have a job……..

Yep. Those were my ten year old dreams and ambitions.  And unlike most kids I didn’t change my mind about what I wanted.  It was always the same.  I was completely infatuated with New York City and it never really wavered.  I dreamt  about walking down busy streets next to the person that I loved while snow quietly fell around us….all. the. time. It consumed me and I honestly believed it could happen.  12 years was soooooo far away! Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how fast I would actually grow up..Peter Pan should have prepared me for that one.

On December 15th, I turned 22 years old…and I am here to announce that I live in California, am not married, don’t have a baby, and have not even finished college, let alone started a career. 

I had known this day was coming for awhile, I had been watching the days go by in my planner over the past couple of months, seeing the date “December 15th” slowly creep closer, taunting me..and yes, it came, and it went…as all dates on a calendar do.  At first I thought: “this isn’t so bad, you’ve known for the past few years that you wouldn’t fulfill any of these dreams within your ridiculous little kid time frame, don’t be bummed.  Don’t dwell on it.”

But then my feelings ended up getting mad at my thoughts for trying to be the rational one in their relationship and eventually my thoughts just angrily stormed out on my feelings…

so instead of being rational, I start to feel like I’m in one of those cliche chick flicks where the guy and the girl love each other but some kind of conflict occurs, so, (usually the girl) gets on a plane to leave….And anyone who has ever seen one of these movies knows what follows:  The guy rushes through the airport, disregards security protocol, and sprints for the gate.  He’s gotta get to her before he loses her forever.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an ending to one of these kinds of movies where the plane isn’t stopped, and the boy ends up broken hearted and alone forever.  It just doesn’t happen…Not even in Liar Liar or Parent Trap people. 

But my cliche chick flick is different, I’m not chasing a guy, I’m chasing my dreams.  They’re leaving and I’m afraid I wont get there in time.  I’m gonna sprint after them as fast as I can, shoving people out of my way James Bond style and causing a scene.  When I’ve finally reached my gate and breathlessly tell the stewardess that he or she has to stop the plane from leaving, that it can’t go because something on it is too important for me to lose,  he or she is just going to look back at me and say “I’m sorry but you just missed it.”  And I’ll just stand there…not knowing exactly what to do, or what comes next.